Friday Funnies!

John Kerry was jogging down the street and sees these kittens in a pet store window. He asks the owner, "What kind of kittens are these?"

The owner replied "They're democrats."

The next week Kerry is jogging down the street with Joe Liberman and Kerry sees the kittens and tells Joe, "You gotta' see this!"

Kerry walks up to the store owner and asks, "What kind of kittens are these?"

"Republicans" the store owner replies.

"But last week you said they were democrats! Whats the difference between them then and now?" Kerry proclaims.

"They opened their eyes." The store owner responds.(ROFLMAO!!!!)

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SOCIALISM: You have two cows. State takes one and give it to someone else.

COMMUNISM: You have two cows. State takes both of them and gives you milk.

FASCISM: You have two cows. State takes both of them and sell you milk.

NAZISM: You have two cows. State takes both of them and shoot you.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. State takes both of them, kill one and spill the milk in the sewage system.

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

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A traveller wandering on an island inhabited entirely by cannibals comes upon a butcher shop. This shop specialised in human brains differentiated according to source. The sign in the shop read:

Artists' Brains $9/oz
Philosophers' Brains $12/oz
Scientists' Brains $15/oz
Republicans' Brains $19/oz
Democrats' Brains $2,000/oz

Upon reading the sign, the traveller noted, "My those Democrats' brains must be popular!" To which the butcher replied, "Are you kidding! Do you have any idea how many Democrats you have to kill to get a ounce of brains?!"