John Kerry Visits America’s Enemies for Christmas

From the makers of W Ketchup:

Eagle Bridge, NY — December 14, 2006 — John Kerry, the failed presidential candidate, left yesterday for a pre-Christmas trip to the Middle East. Kerry met today with Egyptian President Muhammad Hosni Said Mubarak, who has been President of Egypt since the 1981 assassination of Anwar Al Sadat. Kerry is also scheduled to meet with the President of Syria, Bashar Al-Assad, who became President after his father spent 30 years in the same office. Syria is widely credited with destabilizing Lebanon and supporting the terrorists in Iraq.

In 1970, Kerry met delegations from the North Vietnamese communist government, likely violating federal law. In 1984, Kerry met with Communist Nicaraguan Dictator Daniel Ortega in an effort to frustrate the anti-Communist policies of Ronald Reagan.

W Ketchup’s Chairman Bill Zachary commented: “Senator Kerry has a history of meeting with America’s enemies, usually with the intent of undermining American foreign policy initiatives. No doubt if he knew which cave Osama was hiding in, he would direct his and his wife Teresa Heinz’s private jet to shuttle him in for a meeting. This man is a menace and a danger to his fellow countrymen.”

Dan Oliver, CEO of W Ketchup, added: “We find the timing of his six country tour to be suspicious. In 1968, Kerry claimed to be in Cambodia for Christmas when he was, in fact, in Vietnam. We wonder which country Kerry will claim to be in for this Christmas. But wherever he spends his Christmas, he’s likely to be stuck with the harsh, vinegary taste of Heinz.”

W Ketchup would like to wish all of its customers and all Americans a Merry Christmas. Orders placed before Saturday, December 16, are guaranteed to be delivered in time for Christmas.

To order delicious W Ketchup, please visit our website!