BREAKING NEWS: Beer In Peril

"A tractor-trailer loaded with beer has overturned on an I-70 on-ramp spilling cases of brew and fuel onto the roadway and closing the ramp.

"It appears to be light beer. We don't have a brand name. There appears to be quite a bit of it mixed with diesel fuel all over the roadway. Some has remained uninjured and that is what we are transferring over to another truck and getting the rest cleaned up," said Wheat Ridge police spokeswoman Lisa Stigall."

Did you hear that folks, some of the beer escaped uninjured. Maybe, just maybe, there is a God.